Potatoes are tricky 

Potatoes are tricky

Quite recently i've discovered the simple joys of potatoes. Now, i've always loved potatoes. any kind. if it's potato i like it (as long as there's no onions in it).
baked, scallopped, diced, hash browns, french fries, home fries.
potatoes are good.

but, up until 2 weeks ago i'd never fooled w/ a potato on my own.
i'd only eat them if someone else had prepared them for me.

i was scared to prepare them myself.
potatoes are kind of dirty when they're sitting in that big bag under the sink.
i didn't know what you were supposed to do w/ them, so i just let them sit there.

then mary went into her research study.
then i ran out of food.
then i remembered the potatoes under the sink.

i racked my brain trying to remember the steps that'd i'd seen my mom, and mary, and others take in preparing a baked potato.

it was quite a humbling moment, being a 30 year old and not knowing how to make a baked potato.
i surely wasn't going to call mary and ask. she would have ridiculed me forever.

the summer of my freshman year in college i lived in a house by myself for the first time ever.
my sister still laughs hysterically at the fact that i called home from harrisonburg and asked my mom how you make scrambled eggs.
i learned quite a bit that first summer.

so now i know not to ask how to do things that a normal person should know how to do. like make a baked potato. so i searched deep in my brain trying to remember how i'd seen other people do it.
it seemed like they inspected it somehow. i didn't know what i was looking for, but i pulled one out of the bag and looked closely at it. it didn't seem right. i put it back in the bag and pulled out another one. it looked a little better. seemed like a good potato to make as my first potato. i specifically remembered that you have to wash the potato. but how do you wash a potato? dang. it's been several weeks now, i still don't know. do you use soap? if so, what kind of soap? it doesn't seem like soap is edible. but it does clean well. what a dilemma. i figured i'd use just use dishwashing detergent. is this what you do? shoot. i don't know. me? i rinse the potato, and then scrub it with a scrub brush, and then put a little detergent on the potato. it seems to work.

up next i remember my mom saying that you had to "cut out all the spots".
holy crap.
there are spots everywhere.
i have a vague recollection that one time, many years ago, i attempted to make a potato and after cutting out everything that i thought was a "spot", i had enough potato to make about 1 tater tot. mmm... tater tots. i forgot to list those under potato products up above. i do like tater tots.
anyhow, i think that made me give up on potatoes until now.

so i basically skip the spot part. i don't know what spots look like. i'm tad neurotic. everything looks like spots.

so then i remembered seeing mary make a baked potato once and wrapping it in a paper towel.
sweet. my mind is strong! it's coming together.

so i put the potato in the microwave. i realize i have no idea how long one is supposed to cook a potato for for it to turn into a baked potato.

i choose 2 minutes.
i check the potato.
what it is i'm checking for, i have no idea.
i seem to remember that if a potato is too hard, it's not done.
i cook it up some more.
it goes alright.
w/ enough sour cream and butter and salt and pepper, it actually tastes ok.

it's kind of hit or miss for the next couple times that i make a potato.
i do remember that mary stabbed herself w/ a fork once while poking the potato before nuking it.
so now i poke holes in the potato.
i guess it works better.
i don't know.

point is: man, now i love potatoes.

so, yesterday was my first experience, at least that i can recall, of actually buying potatoes in a store.
i was totally scared to do it.
i had no idea what to look for.
i asked mary.
she wasn't very helpful.
she said "just get a bag, they're all the same".
but they're not the same.
1 bag was $1.38, one was $2.28, and there were 2 in between.
all the same size.
mary said russets were reliable.
russets were $1.38.
russets it was.

i cooked one up this morning.
it was tasty.

AND, just yesterday i discovered a new way to make potatoes.
once again, i learned thru observation.
my mom occasionally cooks up some potatoes in a frying pan. but to make them cook quicker, she nukes them in the microwave first. but not quite long enough to make it into a baked potato. (at least that's how it seems).
so that's what i do. i follow my baked potato routine, but stop a minute or so early.

then you chop up the potatoes and cook them in a pan.
and then...wooo buddy.
just yesterday we discovered the joys of homemade potato egg and cheese breakfast burritos.
yummy.

so i made another one today.
everything is super now.
except that i'm scared of knives.
so mary has to cut the potatoes up after i microwave them.

i don't know what i'll do if she's gone at some point and i have to make a potato egg burrito.

knives are sharp.
they will cut you.