Parents and parties and other things 

Parents and parties and other things

So my parents were scheduled to come in on Saturday afternoon. That meant friday was the last day that we could really party it up.

Luckily for us, there was a party at the rio bonito.
Our friend AN who we met several weeks ago---the rich lady from Houston---she was in town, as was her friend LE.

mary and i had been out earlier in the evening and when we came home we heard the commotion. AN, LE, and MK and RM were all partying. by the time we got there everyone was loaded. mary and i tried our best to catch up, but we never did. mercy. LE was totally lit. MK took her for a ride in his monster truck. LE was apparently totally embarrassed. (she's a total rich socialite as well).

AN was pretty obnoxious that night. all she wanted to talk about was how much $$ she had. apparently her boyfriend has a ranch w/ 200 acres. that's a lot of acres. and she had to prepare for her trip to conneticut, and buy all her kids a whole new winter wardrobe. and on and on an and on.
it was pretty obnoxious.

sad part is, at one point while she was in the kitchen, RM told me that she likes to put on that she's loaded but that she actually doesn't have any $$ at all. it's all her boyfriends.

sucks to try to be someone you're not.

RM told some totally insane stories that night. he said he pulled out his own wisdom tooth. it had been hurting him, and he built some contraption that he used to just pull it out. umm..ouch.
we asked if he just pulled it straight out.
oh no, he said. you have to wiggle it first.
ouch.

then he talked about all the times he has had to stitch himself up.
and how one time he just got some dissolving stiches, and stitched up a major gash.
we wanted to know how he happened to have dissolving stitches.
he said he has everything.

apparently he used to be part of a militant organization.
they were called the brown berets. brown for some reason i forget, and because they were hispanic and had brown skin. a double entendre.
i didn't really understand all of his story about the brown berets.
he said the FBI had a file on him.
actually he said they had lots of files on him.
i don't know.
but anyway, since he was in the brown berets he always had lots of stuff he needed--like dissolving stiches and ether and who knows what else.

i swear.
i need to write a book on this guy.
at least part of it would be factual, i'm sure.

the night was pretty fun, but i don't remember much else about it.

so then we went to bed, and prepared for my parents to arrive.
mercy.
i truly was looking fwd to seeing my parents.
i had no idea how stressful their visit would be.
but we survived.
and it was good to see them.
next time though, we'll get them a hotel. the cabin was a little cramped with everyone here.

so on their first night in town MK was having a "major" party for his birthday. he was excited to meet my parents. he wanted them to come. i told him my parents were mennonites and didn't even like alcohol. (there are often things more potent than alcohol present at MK's parties).
MK said he would be on his best behavior.
MK said he'd be like Eddie Haskell.
that made me laugh. and scared me. i could truly see MK being an Eddie Haskell.

so the party had started by the time we got back from supper.
it was still early and i thought it'd be a good time to take my parents over.
but then i heard a lot of coughing coming from the back room.
often, the coughing is a sign of something going on that my parents might not approve of.
(coughing, incense, and late night home improvement projects are all telltale signs).

so we didn't go over yet.
i warned my parents.
they wanted to go.
i didn't know when would be a 'safe' time to take them over.
then there was a knock on the door.
it was MK.
he said that it would be a really good time to come over.
he said there was going to be music and it would be lowkey.
so we did.
and it was.
and it was ok.

but eddie haskell he was not.
my parents had only been there 4 minutes and he already forgot.
he was telling some story--very loudly--- about one time when he was high.

oh well.

it was a totally bizarro party.
the 72 year old grandma that just moved to the reservation was there. along w/ 2 or 3 of her grandkids. and her daughter, who is most likely MR was there. and there was an hispanic guy, and the musician and his wife. and my parents. that was it at first. i talked to the musician. he said he'd been playing music for over 40 years. he said he didn't like to play covers. he said he didn't like to play in public, but was doing it for MK's birthday. he said he used to play out but 2 times that he did he got accosted by drunks both times.

his wife didn't talk much.
she just sat there.
and she didn't drink.
too bad for her.

i had 3 or 4 beers while my parents were there.
i was hoping they would leave soon.
they didn't.
they loved socializing.
they talked to everybody.

MK's father in law, how is the same age as him, showed up.
i always like when GR shows up. he makes me laugh.
today he had MK's 2 kids with him. and he had a lady friend w/ him.
the lady friend, we had been told my MK, was GR's longtime on again off again girlfriend.
they had a tumultous relationship, but MK said that the only times he ever sees GR truly happy are when she's around, and that he dresses better, eats better, sleeps better when she's around.
but then GR gets tired of her and leaves her again.

so GR showed up, and it was apparently true.
GR was dressed as nice as i'd ever seen him dressed.
and now there were more kids.
and at some point GR's youngest daughter showed up.
she's only 14.
that means that MK has a 14 year old sister in law.
that took me a long time to comprehend.

at some point the musician started playing.
turns out he only plays instrumental songs.
no wonder he was accosted by drunks in bars.
he was a really good guitar player.
drunk rednecks don't usually want to hear instrumental songs though.
the drunk redneck grandma at the party didn't.
"do you sing any" she asked in the middle of the song.
he said he used to but years of cigarrette smoke ruined his voice.
she asked the same thing an hour or so later in the middle of song.
sucks to be accosted by drunks.

i felt bad for the guy.
he clearly didn't get out much.
and people didn't seem too into his music.
but he seemed thrilled to get to play it, so that's good.

at some point mary and i took my parents back home.
then we came back to the party.
things started getting wilder.
i got to drink a couple more beers without feeling like my parents would be worried.
as it got later someone was trying to convince GR's lady friend to dance on the table.
she said she wasn't near drunk enough.
but she grinded w/ GR a bit.
she called him "Daddy".
she said she'd dance for Daddy anytime.
but not on the table.
but she pulled out a couple quick Dirty Dancing moves.
it was kind of scary.
you know how sometimes women over the age of 50 develop a really nice weird pouch?
you know what i'm talking about. it's not really they're stomach, it's sort of below it, and when they wear jeans high enough, there's the pouch just sticking out?
yeah.
she had a big pouch.
pouches scare me.
but she danced it up anyway.
but not on the table.

mary and i finally went home.
turned out we just barely missed the highlight of the party.
according to MK, soon after we left, GR's lady friend did get up on the table and do a dance.
apparently she did get drunk enough.
the dance was pretty risque i think.
mary asked MK if it was good.
MK said it was, "if you like abstract art"

sunday we all went to a sunday brunch at Threadgills w/ some free music. it was good.
i ate lots.
when we came back home MK invited over for leftovers.
we went over.
we ate lots more.
there were more crzy people.
there were more stories.
i drank 2 beers.
then more people showed up---RM's relatives.
they were really nice.
we went over to RM's house.
we heard more stories.
apparently one night RM was driving his golf cart home and he was drunk.
and as i've said before, the golf cart doesn't have headlights.
and RM slapped into a tree.
and the Deuce flew out of the cart, into the night.
poor Deuce.
no wonder he runs in front of the cart now.

RM's uncle was there.
he was a former narcotics officer.
he was pretty cool.

my mom talked w/ RM's aunt all night.
my parents love to socialize.

and then it was monday.
and monday mary and i had to work at the antique shop.
we split it up. i worked the AM, and mary the PM.
my dad came along w/ me.
he used the time to express, in his own way, his concerns that i was an alcoholic.
out of nowhere he asked "do you drink everyday?"
no, i said with disdain.
"that's good" he said.
i drink whenever i want to i said.

sheesh
his comment was sparked by the fact that he saw me drink 2 days in a row. a total of 5 beers.
lookout!
mercy.
hope he never sees me at a real party.
he'd have to have an intervention for me.

not much else happened during the week.
after the first day at the antique shop, mary would work mornings and i would work the afternoon.
it's the easiest job ever.
you just sit there.
and that's it.

mary figured out a good system.
after my parents left, we got it down pat.
we bring the portable dvd player w/ us, and a book.
and one day we even had a beer at work.
getting paid to watch movies and drink beer.
best job ever.
i'm such an alcoholic.

i also subbed one day last week.
5th grade.
mercy.
they were hyper.
it wasn't so fun.
5th grade girls love me.
6th grade girls too actually.
this one girl in my class came up while i was at my desk and leaned on my shoulder.
i didn't know what to do.
it clearly wasn't appropriate, but i didn't want to make her feel bad.
so i just got up from the desk and walked around.
i felt bad for her anyway.
the first time i subbed her class she told me that she had to go to a different class. she didnt' have the same assignments.
she seemed really intelligent.
i thought she meant a gifted class.

I was in Quest you know.
hard to believe, but i was. (that's what the gifted program was called in charlottesville).
Quest.
I was a quest kid.
guess that's why i'm so smart.
don't forget it.

so i thought she was in quest.
one day 2 weeks ago mary had to sub and she subbed for a 'content mastery' class. we didn't know what that meant. turns out its the kids that need extra help.
turns out that was the class the little girl had to go to.
i felt bad.

but i liked the content mastery class.
seems like most of the really hyper kids have to go there.
and that makes it easier.
but then the second class i had that day had 8 kids that were supposed to go to content mastery.
i sent them.
turns out content mastery was closed.
that sucked.
all the hyper kids still in the room.

i actually had to teach some on thursday though.
that was kind of silly. reading to the kids and teaching them about prime #'s and stuff.
good times.
i also taught a health lesson and read to the kids about healthy eating options.
apparently potato chips and beer are not healthy.
that was a direct example.
no kidding.
it said "luis' uncle likes to eat a lot of potato chips and drink lots of beer. that's not healthy".

dang it.
if only they had taught me that in elementary school.
i don't think they were even allowed to say beer when we were in elementary school.
but i don't know.

oh--- did i mention, that to start out the day they come on the intercom and you do the pledge of allegiance. all the kids stand and face the flag, and put their hand over their chest, and recite the words together.

i don't think i ever did that when i was a kid either.
i knew most of the words though.
i'm smart you know.

but then that got done, and then they said, "and now, the Texas pledge".
what?
the TX pledge?
who made that up.
it's awesome.

i don't remember exactly how it went.
something about how awesome TX is, and that they'll always worship TX, and always strive to live up to TX standards, and how awesome TX is.

what in the world.
only in TX.
i swear.

TX is awesome.