Breaking up with a close friend
I've always loved TV. Ever since I can remember. It's my mom's fault i think. When i was a kid she tried to restrict how much tv i was allowed to watch. i forget exactly what the rules were, but i wasn't supposed to watch much. she let me watch Dukes of Hazzard, and the A-team, and Knight Rider. those were givens. but after that, not much. i think i maybe got 1 cartoon an afternoon. it was usually GI Joe that i picked. and then no tv. unless it was a "family friendly" show. we watched family ties, and webster and different strokes and silver spoons. and we watched Highway to Heaven. and i briefly remember watching a show called "Call to Glory" which was some family drama with a pre-Coach/post Poltergeist Craig T. Nelson. and later we would watch Cosby Show religiously, and the first season of Different World.
and that was about it. i wasn't really allowed to watch tv aimlessly. it had to have a purpose. and while the shows listed above may look like a bunch of shows, imagine if you were only allowed to 30 minutes of tv a night. how would you feel?
you'd feel sad.
so whenever i went to my friends houses i watched lots of tv. and in the summer, i watched as much tv as i could. (apparently, tv watching rules only applied to when school was in or something). in the summers i watched Price is Right and Sale of the Century every day. and password and super password. and Press Your Luck, and Classic Concentration, and whatever game show of the moment was on during that particular summer. and syndicated reruns. i LOVED syndicated reruns. specifically Alice. and the Ropers. i liked the Ropers better than 3's Company.
ahh...i loved summer.
what's my point?
i almost forgot.
the point is, i always loved TV, even though my mom tried to restrict how much i watched.
and part of me thinks that i loved it even more as i got older because i didn't get to watch as much as i wanted when i was kid. its always easier to blame someone else though. maybe i'd just be a tv-aholic no matter what. who knows.
i love tv. i'm not ashamed of it.
but now i live in a cabin.
on a very fixed budget.
and my tv is only 12 inches and i only get 13 channels.
in recent years i also became a bit addicted to the internet.
mostly because i had an office job, but also because of all the useless crap you could find on the internet.
but now?
now i'm on a fixed budget.
and i don't have an office job.
so i have to go to the library to get on the internet.
the result?
i don't play on the internet nearly as much as i used to.
so what happens when you take a boy who used to be obsessed with pop culture and loved his tv and his internet, and stick him in a cabin in the country and cut him off from all these things?
well... the boy gets out and lives life.
he reads some books. more books in 3 months than he's read in 2 years.
and he plays board games. (and he likes the board games).
and he socializes.
and he sits outside and enjoys nature.
he takes walks with his pug and his ladyfriend.
(and he also sees a TON of concerts)
but the point is though, that the boy enjoys life.
and life is truly grand.
and he doesn't even really miss tv and the internet that much.
so what would happen when the boy returned home for the holidays, and had tv and the internet at his fingertips?
the boy figured he'd overdose on them when he got there.
he figured there'd be nothing better than vegging out in front of the tv all day.
but something happened.
the boy got home and for some reason did not feel compelled to watch tv aimlessly all day long.
he did other stuff.
granted, he did watch more tv than usual, but certainly not as much as he thought he would, and definitely not as much as he used to.
and, he did play on the internet quite a bit.
(that internet is a tempting seductress. it's exciting to have it at your fingertips any hour of the day. it's sort of empowering).
but, again, the point, which has gotten lost again is this: much to my surprise i didn't crave tv as much as i thought i would. although it's been only 3 months, TX is changing me. and i love it.
today was the first day since i've been home that i didn't really have anything to do, so i was forced to watch lots of tv. and i was bored out of my mind. totally bored.
and that's good i think.
it's good to not love the TV like i used to.
well--- i still love it. i always will. i just don't need it.
don't tell tv that.
tv might get mad.
sadly tonight though i experienced the flip side of what else happens if you don't have as much internet and tv access as you once did:
THEY trick you.
and you get angry.
do you know that song "since you been gone"?
it's catchy.
this megawatt mix station in Austin called The Bob plays that song all the time.
enough that it crept into my brain.
but i liked it.
sometimes when it'd come on i might have even turned it up. (i don't remember).
but i liked it.
and then tonight the mtv video awards were on.
and on the awards, kelly clarkson came on.
i sort of have a rule about hating American Idol winners or contestants.
but puff daddy diddy told me it was going to be incredible, and i had to watch.
so i did.
and she sang the song "since you been gone".
i always thought it was that other girl who sang it.
and i was ok with liking the other girl singing it.
my brain is rotting away and i can't think of her name now.
i think she's that one that sang that song about "just a day, just an ordinary day..."
but then maybe it wasn't her.
maybe it was one of those other dark haired young pop stars of the moment.
i want to say her name started with an N.
but i don't know.
it doesn't really matter.
because apparently kelly clarkson sings that song.
and i imagine that i'm the only one in the world who didn't know that.
and now i feel tricked.
and manipulated.
and i feel dirty for liking it.
they made me like the song.
they never told me who sang it.
and it's catchiness got stuck in my brain.
and i liked it.
and i'm mad.
is it worth it to not be entranced by the tv but then to be tricked by radio into liking a kelly clarkson song?
should i give up on radio too?
i don't know.
and then i have a weird thought that makes my head hurt.
maybe--and it's a big maybe-- could it be-- that without the influence of mass media, my brain is now free to choose whatever it likes and dislikes without the former qualifiers and indicators that used to influence my opinions?
is it wrong that before, i could hate a song without even hearing it, based simply on the person who was singing it, and my prejudices towards them. is it wrong that i automatically hated things without even giving them a chance?
it's almost like my mind has been opened.
i don't have any prejudices or biases or preconceived notions about things now.
i just experience them and take them at face value and form my own judgements.
will i one day be free from all media prejudices?
will that be better?
is that what it's like when people have no tv or internet?
do they have an easier time in life because they are not encumbered by what's cool or popular, or in my case, trying to hate whatever is cool or popular?
do these people have it better?
perhaps.
but they miss out on a lot too.
i have no doubt about that.
maybe in some ways though, they do have it better because they can form their own opions.
and that's good.
i'm gonna think about it.
and maybe i'll try to decrease my tv viewing time and internet usage even more.
i'm sorry tv.
its nothing personal.
it's not me, it's you.
i appreciate all the times that you were there for me.
and i'll always have a special place in my heart for you.
and sometimes, who knows, maybe we can still have some quality time together.
for right now though, i'm going to have to continue to distance myself from you for a little while.
but if i start liking a song that i find out is a Backstreet Boys song i'm expanding my cable package and signing up for highspeed internet immediately.
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