Being 20 again 

Being 20 again

Last night we were down in San Marcos at the HEB grocery store picking up a couple essentials (eggs, bread, tortillas), and i figured i might as well pick up a 12 pack of Pearl since i was there and i was down to 7 or 8 at home. HEB is about the only place you can find Pearl, so i try to get it when i'm there. Pearl is one of the oldest TX breweries, and is referenced in the Terry Allen song "Amarillo Highway" and also in the David Allan Coe song "If that ain't Country". That's how you know it's good. AND Pearl Light only has 68 calories. 68 calories! that's about like drinking water. on top of that, a 12 pack of Pearl Light is only $4.99. That's a good deal.

So, at the HEB, i decided to get some.
Mary went and looked for it and said she couldn't find it.
that worried me. i'd been there before and it was out, and some of the other HEB's don't carry it.
but sometimes mary doesn't look very hard for things she doesn't want for herself so i went to look.
it was there. whew!
BUT....they had upped the price. 1 whole dollar it went up. that's a lot.
$4.99 is a great price for a 12 pack.
$4.99 makes me happy.
$5.99 not so much a good deal.
not so much increasing my happiness.

i wasn't prepared for the price increase.
so i just stood there like an idiot staring at the beer.
(this happens more often than i'd like to admit).
i couldn't decide what to do.
and then i saw my replacement: a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best Light---BOTTLES, for only $5.49.

now, normally, in the previous 30 years of my life i would have never once been excited, or even tempted to purchase any amount of Milwaukee's Best Light. it wouldnt' have even crossed my mind. but things have changed now.

at the Devil's Backbone Tavern, where i'm now a bartender, their every day all day special is Reds and Blues for $1.25. "reds" are Milwaukee's Best. "blues" are Milwaukee's Best light. every single morning there's a group of 5 or so old cowboys that come in there. they all drink blues. and it's cool. the bar doesn't officially open until 12, but usually at least 2 of the old cowboys show up before 12, and they come strolling in----already drinking a Milwaukee's Best Light. so..they are not only drinking beer before 12, they are drinking it in their car, on the way to the bar, and carrying it into the bar where they will proceed to order and drink more. is it wrong that i think that's cool?
there's an ad on the wall in the bar for Milwaukee's Best Light that says its for the older, distinguished drinker with selective taste or something like that. i can't say i'd ever seen an ad for it before.

but i've been thinking that's what i should drink.

so last night at the grocery store seemed like a perfect opportunity (although the old cowboys would probably frown that i was drinking it out of a bottle instead of out of a can).

so we go to checkout, and the cashier asks for my ID.
so i give it to her.
and she looks at it, and shows it to another girl there.
and the other girl tells her something.
i'm not really paying attention because i'm talking to mary.
it didn't really seem like anything i needed to pay attention to.
until the girl said "we can't accept this ID because it's out of state".
WHAT?
"what?" i say. "here, here's credit cards and other items with my name on it".
"I'm sorry, we can't take out of state ID's" she says.
and i throw a bit of a fit.
i tell her it's ridiculous, that she can clearly see that i'm not 21.
"i'm sorry" says the other girl, "she doesnt' have to accept out of state IDs".
and i ask if i look like i'm under 21.
"you don't look like you're over 30" she says.
BUT I AM 30, i say. and i certainly don't look like i'm 20.
i reiterate my point, and manage to not cuss them out.
and truthfully, if i wouldn't have needed bread, i would have left all my stuff on the conveyor belt, and left the store.
they don't deserve my business if they're going to be asses.

in a way it's humorous.
if there was a 20 year old that looked like me, i'd feel sorry for him.
i'm a solid 30 or 40 pounds heavier than i was when i was 20, and have the dreaded triple shot up top: a receding hairline AND am balding AND am going gray. it sucks to be a 30 year old and have that happening. it would really suck to be a 20 year old and have it happen. i don't think it happens that much.

they knew i wasn't 20.
i just took the stupid TABC class.
yes, in TX the only form of ID you have to take is a valid TX driver's license.
BUT that is too prevent underage drinkers who have a fake out of state ID.
it's not to prevent people from Virginia from drinking.
i didn't look 20.
they were stupid.
and i told them so.
and mary told me i was stupid for arguing with them.
but that's stupid too.
if someone wrongs you, you tell them.
and they wronged me.
so i told them.
they're stupid.
everyone is stupid.
HEB is particularly stupid.
i don't like to be denied my beer.
dang, i haven't been denied beer since the 90s, when i was cut off--TWICE--at my former favorite college bar.

guess i'll have to get a TX driver's license now.
then it's official.
then i'll be officially drunk.

i don't plan on going back to HEB though. at least not that particular one. i'd ban all of them except they have really good deals.
bunch of idiots.
sometimes TX is stupid

who needs a drink?