Sometimes Sun Shines 

Sometimes Sun Shines

mercy.
i feel like crap.
i've got a cold or some sinus thing going on.
today is tuesday, and it's been going on since saturday.
and i feel like crap.

ugh.

and mary is gone.
she left on friday but it seems longer.
she's back in VA for a wedding and to hang out.

and i feel weird about all kinds of things.
and i'll write about that in a second.
but first, here's some ramblings:

so i read a book in 2 days. 2 days. pretty sure i've never read a book that fast. i'm addicted. i read this book called "gone for good" by harlan coben. it's the third coben book i've read in 3 weeks. i'm totally obessed. they're really suspenseful. and really good. i can't quit reading them. i finished one on saturday and freaked out b/c the library was closed and i couldn't get another.
i had to drive to the library in San marcos 20 miles away and get one the next day. i learned my lesson though. i got 2. good thing, since i already finished one. i'm a coben junkie. who would have thought i'd like to read?

know what else i like? slim jims. slim jims make me happy. i used to love slim jims when i was a kid. i'd take one for a snack every day. the Quest teachers used to give me a hard time about it. they said i had to have a healthy snack. i told them my mom packed it for me. God bless my mom. mm...slim jims. i hadn't had one in years. but then, before i started hating the bar, the bar got slim jims. and they taunted me. i wanted one, but they were 50 cents. so i never bought one. and then i quit going there anyway. but then the other day at HEB, the best grocery store in the world, they had a deal: buy 2 boxes of popcorn, get a can of slim jims free. ROCK! i had a slim jim on the way home from the store. instant happiness. slim jims seem a lot smaller now than they did back when i was a kid. but still yummy. i love salty things. i think i have a salt deficiency which makes me crave salt. no foolin. i crave salty things: chips, burgers, microwave dinners, etc. i like salt. one time i tried to get into a research study and i had to fast like 16 hours or something. they excluded me from the study b/c they said my sodium level was too low. i laughed.

i did finally get into a research study though.
it doesn't pay much, but i dont' have to go in overnight either.
and they are great people there.
not like the other place, the one that mary got into. that place sucks.
my place rocks.

i subbed 2 days the other week.
i'm growing tired of subbing.
but it's quick money.
and i'm broke as a joke.
i never wrote about the kid stealing my shoe one day.
that sucked.
i almost had a heart attack.

one day, some time ago, i subbed for little kids.
and i'd been hiking or something the day before and my feet hurt.
so i had my shoes off and my feet under the desk as i read.

at some point, i went to put on my shoes.
and i only had one.
i felt around w/ my foot.
no shoe.
my heart started to race.
where could it have gone?
i had to look under the desk. i figured that looked stupid, but walking around with one shoe off looked stupid too.
so i crawled around on the floor behind the desk frantically searching.
no shoe.
what the heck?
now i was sleepy.
and most likely hungover.
and i couldn't figure it out.
did a kid take my shoe?
seemed implausible, but i had no other guess.
but how do i ask that? "Did someone take my shoe?"
what if i'm wrong?
then i look like an idiot.
(note to self: maybe quit caring what 3rd graders think about you)
so i continue to look.
and finally i see a couple girls looking at me and whispering.
"ok, does someone have my shoe?" i say firmly.
a little dark haired girl with big eyes brings me my shoe.
"i crawled under the desk and took it when you weren't looking" she said.
no kidding.
brat.
kids are cute.

the end.

that's all the fun stuff.
the rest is not as fun.
you can stop reading here and still leave with a happy feeling, and you won't have missed out on much.

and that's all i know.
now i'm gonna ramble and get a little whiny. blame it on my sickness.
my cold ridden head is all in a haze.
i hung out by the river lots these past 2 days.
today i sat in the river and read a book.
i heard a noise, and there, 30 feet away, was a raccoon swimming right towards me.
i didn't know what to do if he kept coming at me.
he didn't.
he veered right.
i watched him for about 10 minutes.
i'd never really watched a raccoon close up.
pretty interesting little characters.
but i hate them.
a raccoon attacked my dog when i was a kid.
and i've never forgiven the species.

but i've been nostalgic these last couple days.
don't know if it's this sickness clouding my head or what, but it's gnawing at me.
i'm worried i'm going to really miss it out here.
i'm sure i'll like austin, and that it will just be a transition.
and i admittedly hate transitions, so that's probably all it is, but man, i love this river.

but i'm tired of everything else.
i can't even stand to talk to MK and RM anymore, and that kinda sucks.
and i can't go to my former fav. bar out here---the one i used to work at, b/c i have too many ill feelings towards.

and i miss people in VA a bit.
i have no desire to live there anytime soon.
i love it here.
i just wish VA were a little bit closer.

and here i get honest. if you don't want honesty, don't read this paragraph. seriously. i'm not kidding. okay. i warned you. i'm going to keep typing.
i miss the fun times i used to have w/ mary. i really do. i hope austin will give us a second wind. i hope we didn't wait too long to move there. mercy. we used to have a lot of fun. not so much anymore. i often do my own thing or concert thing. and she hangs out with bar people. i hate that bar. and part of me really wanted to ride home to VA with her, since i have no idea what my schedule will be like w/ my new job where i have to go on the road. but i knew we'd kill each other on the road trip there. and i knew we needed some time apart. i know she needed some alone time.

and it's all weird, and it all sucks, and i miss the old days.
but i don't miss living in VA.
and she still does.

wish us luck in Austin please.
i'd like it to somehow work.